Editorials Why Always Me???

Why Always Me???

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This is the first of  “The Emotive Epistle Series” by @Le_Tiny. If you are interested in featuring on this series, click HERE. Back to today’s post…


Dear mirror on the wall,

I have being keeping this to myself. But, I just can’t anymore. “She’s crazy,” everyone says. “I hate her,” he says. “I despise her”, she says. “She’s possessed,” they say. “She’s a freak; she’s a witch!” They all say. “How did you come to this conclusion?” I ask. “How well do you know me?” I ask. “What wrong have I done?” I ask, but as always, no one answers. Why should they? They know me not; they understand me not, but they conclude and pass their judgments upon me. “She’s very anti-social; she’s too rude; she’s very wicked, evil and mean,” they sing like a song. “She doesn’t have any friends…no one likes her.” “She’s a psycho; she’s a mad dog. Do well to stay far away from her.” “She’s a slut, a whore, a prostitute, and all things derogatory.” “Let’s hurt her,” they say. “Let’s make her cry.” “Let’s punish her.” “She’ll never know peace as long as I live”, they say.

STILL…I ask, “What wrong have I done? What unforgivable sin have I committed? What can I do to change your minds?” I ask…They heed me not. I sit and cry all day and night, but no one sees my tears; I worry all morning, but no one sees my pain. No one cares. No one cares to ask, “What is wrong?” No one cares to ask, “What ails you?” No one cares to find out why I am so sad, NO ONE CARES. They all attack me, from different angles, with different weapons, sometimes individually, sometimes in groups. They all want a pound of my flesh; they all want a piece of my hide as a trophy; they want a sip of my blood. They all want me dismembered…I run, I hide, I fight, but they still keep coming. If I run, they chase after me, calling me a coward…and urge me to fight them. If I hide, they look everywhere for me, prodding my hiding place with sticks, and urge me to come out and fight. If I decide to fight, they shout at the top of their voices: “She has gone mad again!” “She’s at it again!” “I told you she was crazy!”

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I stand, undecided, confused, not knowing which way to go. I have thought about putting an end to it all, but I know it is wrong in the sight of the creator to kill myself; it is wrong against all humanity. So I sit and cry some more; what else do you expect me to do but cry? I can no more laugh nor smile since you all give me no reason to. Take a gander at the world in my eyes; take a walk around the world in the same paths I have trod; be blessed with my own knowledge. Until you have suffered what I have been through, you have no right to judge me…

I am tired of trying to please everyone. My heart bleeds, my soul cries, my body withers and my mind yearns for some supernatural touch, some healing outside of myself. I have been through a lot, I have seen too much. My heart is weak from bleeding too much; my eyes are swollen from crying too much. My legs ache from walking far, far, far away, trying to find a place of solitude. I am scared of everyone; scared of those around, scared of what goes on in their hearts and minds. I have been hurt too much.

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I have spent not up to 22 harmattans in this cruel, cruel, cruel world; yet, my heart, my mind, my body and soul have suffered for a life-time…I just want to sit somewhere, peacefully, and cry the pain away. Tears wash my soul and cleanse me; they stop me from doing and thinking evil. Crying is not too good, but it is better than hurting someone. It shows my helplessness, but at the same time, it makes me reach out to God. Sometimes, I don’t want to live anymore, but then again, I haven’t even seen much of this world. I want to stay, but they don’t want me to. I try and try to speak out my feelings, but I find no voice to. I try and try to write down my feelings and construct them into words. But no words can explain the deep feeling of inner pain, betrayal, hurt, sorrow, and all I have been through. There is no word I can use to explain how I feel. The pain is too deep to find words which best express it.

PEACE…why can’t I find it? No matter where I go, trouble, hatred, evil, pain…they all follow me. Why can’t I find PEACE? Yes, I know I am hiding; I know I am running away; call me whatever you like, but I am tired of fighting. Even if I fight, there’s no end to this pain and trouble. More will still come to fight me…I know…I know…but why? Why always me? Why? Why?? Why???

******Kindly Drop A Comment If You Read Till This Point******

Thanks…




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50 COMMENTS

  1. Do this often. Not necessarily for everyone to read. But just pour out your heart through constant writing and use of words. One day, All the pain will flow out through the pen. Also, keep in mind that the strongest man is he who remains calm when angered

  2. I know you on twitter. And it’s good to know that beneath your diamond hard shell, there is still human feelings underneath…

  3. Hmmmm… My initial impression was kinda like ‘wow’. The next was one, was hmmm… Nice write-up… Now, i see you in a new light, like the above comment, i see u as human. Guess twitter just has a way of mystifying people.

  4. Touching, I must say, this describes me too, difference in age notwithstanding, I feel like I’m 80 already.

  5. that was a sad write up, well written though. in the long run, haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love, just do u and if u are happy and with a clear conscience, screw everyone else 🙂 stay strong dear.

  6. Interesting and touching write-up. It is well, remember haters gonna hate. lovers gonna love. Life has to remain in balance.

  7. Very good write up. I just think she’s gonna find light at the end of the tunnel though. Never give up on life.

  8. This is amazin..been tryna read it all day..buh mtn dealt wiv me..I really like d personal shii..look forward to contributing..:)

  9. Smh.some of una still wan set p wiv her for ere ???? She’s cool tho. A bit annoying,but cool.besides I like her never say die attitude .She just needs to learn not to suffer fools n ignore,most ishh she got into,could have been avoided… .Am .jez sayin .before she le-yab me o.

  10. Self sub..lool…Too too touching, I just had to comment…..this is the 1st comment I’m ever dropping on any of all the write-ups I’ve read. Nice! 🙂

  11. really deep…looked like it was more than just a write up, like the author was genuinely searching for answers. Dunno her so i cant say for sure, but GREAT stuff!

  12. Errrmmmmm !!!! This has to be real , but every1 learns I guess, with time u’ll make the best choice 🙂

  13. Errrmmmmm !!!! This has to be real , but every1 learns I guess, with time u’ll make the best choice miss 🙂 !

  14. It takes alot to pour out what u feel 2 Pple u dont know,thats brave,i applaud u for dat.your story is so touching.i just want u to always pray and take things easy

  15. Wow! This is really good.. At the beginning it seemed you were actually talking bout yourself.. But its really good.. 🙂

  16. Good piece… Ur post struck a chord! One sad thing about life though is that people will always hate you regardless of what u do and how u do it. u just cant please everyone…. If they don’t love u at your worst they def don’t deserve u at your best.

  17. Your second write-up, If I’m correct. A far cry from the last. I like the poetic touch and if its about you, its superbly graphic. Any reader should be able to relate with this on any level. I commend you on pulling that off. However, considering the emotion you were trying to pass across to your readers, I think you did just a tad bit too much in conveying your point. Basically, what I’m saying is it was a bit too sad, like a dirge. I’m not taking anything away from you though. Its still an impressive piece. As for the things the character in the piece is going through, I think God and a habit of keeping oneself happy no matter what is the solution to that. Trying to please everybody is just pointless. Please yourself and those that matter to you, that’s all that’s needed. Looking forward to another piece,as always. #Bless

  18. Sad, been there and learnt I can’t please everyone so I please myself and I can say I’m living a happy life. Contented and happy 🙂

  19. Absolutely beautiful this piece is. Nonetheless, I am, once again, very impressed with how you have managed to lay your heart out in a very short piece. You’ve done immensely well. In this writing, however, I feel that whoever it refers to has been grossly misunderstood, hated, and is largely unwanted, albeit by irrational dislike for the subject. But, this is life. Anticipation of total acceptance by people is a precisely unrealistic way to handle these, as the best you can get is concessional acceptance. Which means that, in spite of all the penchant to want to be loved by one and all, you must live for yourself first, before factoring in living for others. If you don’t know who you are, you can’t know how to deal with someone else and, perhaps, their unneeded and unrestrained behavior. Over all, good piece this is, and I hope to read of where the person, who this article refers to, has found a deserved inner peace.

  20. wooow!!! it takes more dan just courage t stand up to whateva any! thinks about u, i knw d feeeling btw nice 1 soti now i can relate it to ur bio and am ooking forward to more from u :*

  21. I was reading because i typed n how i felt on Google n ur comment popped up i can relate a lot to how u feel theres nothing more i can say except u r not alone n yes it sux but damn u r a phenomenal writter!

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